Learning how to live

Where to start, where to start?

Well first, I’m just coming out of a migraine so if you haven’t seen me around in a few days, that’s why. Darn sinusitis.

I quit drinking coffee for a while. Figured out that I can have one cup with no ill effect on my tummy, but my problem is stopping at one cup. I enjoy the ritual of the coffee, and also I feel like I owe it to the coffee to drink it. Weird, but that’s how it is. I think a lot of us have that “clean your plate” mentality, which affects all my habits around food. A while ago I said I was going to do better with my food choices, and I have. I’ve only lost about five pounds, but I’m really working on the habit part rather than focusing on losing weight. Things like making sure there are healthy things in the kitchen, not being lazy about cooking, and thinking about portions rather than just shoveling it in till I can’t anymore. Those are the things that will make me a healthy weight and keep me there. I can wait to hit that mark if I know it will last.

What else…

Oh yeah, I finished my book. Sent it to my first reader on Tuesday and had a migraine headache an hour later, whatever that means. Thinking of everything I’ve gone through during the course of this book is a bit overwhelming.

I didn’t have the confidence to write this book when I started. It doesn’t fit into a template, I see now.  I tried to make it fit a template and ended up spinning my wheels for a couple of years. For a long time my forebrain told me it was a mess, even though it made a lot of sense to me, and the characters spoke with their own voices. Only when I threw out the template did it come alive and drive me to the finish.

We’ll see how the public receives it, but whatever happens I’ve written the book I wanted to write, and that’s a pretty damn good feeling. Later in my career, I will say, “That’s when I learned how to be a writer.” Shoot, this whole BVA period has taught me how to live.

If fragrance were a man I’d shoot him.

Update: see Poison Scents, my blog dedicated to my fragrance sensitivity.

So this fragrance sensitivity I have, it is the real deal. As you may remember, I took out most everything in my house that contained fragrance and saw an immediate improvement. Over the past couple of weeks I have had much less eye fatigue, no headache, little to no sinus pressure. I’ve had a stuffy nose, but it’s the regular variety. I’m getting to a point where I can live with it.

I was able to find a fragrance-free version of everything in the house, but some things are available only through the internet and cost quite a bit more, such as dishwashing soap, so I’m dragging my feet on those. We’re still using the old Soft Soap, and my husband still uses his Irish Spring (making the concession of keeping it under the cabinet when not in use, not sure that’s good enough), and I’m using my kid’s shampoo since the smell is not nearly as strong as mine.

Everything was peachy…Until I whipped out the carpet stain remover. You know the kind where you spray it on the stain and wait three minutes and blot? That stuff will tear you a new sinus cavity. I didn’t consider as I sprayed it on that even after I blotted, the stuff would still be sitting there, in my carpet, silently giving off noxious fumes. By the end of the day I had a migraine. My first headache in weeks.

The headache is only annoying this morning, but I’ve been sneezing and having trouble focusing already. I tried rinsing and blotting again, but it didn’t work. I guess I have to break out the big guns: the carpet shampooer. Of course I won’t be using shampoo, only rinsing. Just think, I used to make my whole house smell like that shit… *shudder*

No wonder I had migraines.