I still think it is, but I’m finding out that repeated exposure can still build up. I’ve left only a day between each exposure over the past week or two–library, casino, grocery store, school enrollment, pizza place–and it has sure been taking a toll. I need longer rest time in a neutral environment between each outing to allow my body to metabolize the toxin. It’s such a relief to get back to my home, the most neutral environment I’ve found.

I’ve avoided making a list of fragrance-free products I use, because of laziness, yes, but also because until now I hadn’t tried enough of them to settle on a list of favorites. These products work as well as the ones they replaced, and in some cases better.

Cleaners

• Clorox Green Works Natural dishwashing liquid, Free & Clear. I love this stuff. I also put it diluted in pump bottles for hand washing.
• Soapopular hand sanitizer is completely inoffensive
• Simplicity Hypoallergenic Non-toxic automatic dishwasher sachets
• Borax is an excellent grease cutter. Nothing better for getting grease off appliances.
• Ammonia
• Vinegar
• Water. Seriously, do you need to use a chemical everytime you wipe the crumbs off the counter?

I have yet to find a suitable replacement for toilet bowl cleaner, so I just use ammonia or vinegar, whatever I’m in the mood for, but they don’t really get rid of the water stains. I’m still looking. Be wary of trash bags, because they often have fragrance added.

Body-care products

• Earth Science Fragrance Free Shampoo and Conditioner
• Aveeno Active Naturals Skin Relief Body Wash, Fragrance Free (I prefer the store brand version of this, because it doesn’t seem to have as much of an odor and it’s cheaper, but this will be more easily found.)
• Dove Sensitive Skin bar soap. Make sure it says “Fragrance Free” on the package and not merely “unscented.”
• Dove Sensitive Skin antiperspirant. Again, make sure it says “Fragrance Free” on the package. “Hypoallergenic” or “Unscented” doesn’t always encompass it.
• Almay makeup contains no fragrance ever, as far as I can tell.
• Lubriderm Daily Moisture for me, and Suave Natural Oatmeal Moisturizer for DH
• Olay Complete All-day Moisture Lotion, Sensitive Skin.

Be wary of any feminine hygiene products, because they do not have to list any added fragrance. I once bought a package of Carefree panty liners and was surprised with fragrance, so I avoid all their products, just in case.

Along my journey through the house listing all my products, I found a couple of scented products that sneaked past me. One was the Dove “unscented” soap, the other was my husband’s hairspray, both of which don’t list fragrance in the ingredients. I assume they list the actual chemical name of the fragrance, but the research to find out which one would be a couple of hours. And it doesn’t matter, anyway, because they have to go. These could be the reason for my constant eye and sinus irritation, and also the reason for the decreased stamina outside of the house. I’ve put that soap on my face every single day for a couple of weeks.

Anyway, that’s my list. Here’s an interesting interview I tweeted yesterday about toxins in personal care products if you’re interested in such things.

Update: So guess what? I didn’t use the soap or a new antiperspirant, and I feel tons better. It’s like night and day. I’m so happy I could scream. :)

Another update: I re-checked the packaging on the Dove soap, and it does say “fragrance free” on there. Guess it was just a red-herring after all. That’s why this is such a stupid problem. It’s possible something besides fragrance in the soap is irritating my eyes. I really need to make some more soap.

I’ll be visiting with an old college friend this week. I’m nervous and excited at the same time. Excited for the normal reasons, because I like her. Nervous for some normal reasons and some abnormal ones: I’m embarrassed at my behavior in college; I used to be hot and now I am not; I’m not involved in musical theater (or music, or theater) in any way, and I feel guilty leaving it behind; I hate accommodating the stupid fragrance allergy (“Please jump through these hoops for me. I can’t guarantee it will be worth it.”).

But you know what? I feel fantastic. I think I may have gotten my fingernails under the edge of the fragrance/sinus/migraine problem. I’m meditating and avoiding fragrance and not dwelling on it. Wallowing in self-pity really does make it worse, and so does stress. I’m not saying it’s not still a problem, but I have enough experience with it (almost a year) to know what to expect, and that makes it easier. I’m not mad about it anymore, and I think that’s the main thing. Jen has been understanding about it, so for that I am grateful. Not that I expected any different. I remember her as a classy, friendly girl, and I can’t wait to see her again.

I’ve only re-met one other college friend, and that was a few years ago. We talked and visited many times, got good and caught up, but fell out of touch as happens with people like Danny and me, and my last email went unanswered. He might have changed jobs by that time, because it was a work email. I felt like I should have tried harder to keep up with him, but finally realized that it was only half my responsibility.

I feel fantastic

I appreciate the efforts of my SIL Rhonda to make her family as fragrance-free as possible when they came over last weekend. Brown Bootie the Daring Dachshund went to live with them, so I’m happy about that. I know they’ll take good care of her.

After their visit I was sick with a slammin’ migraine for an entire two days, but DH took care of everything and let me recover.

I felt better in time for my daughter’s choir concert. I’d have gone anyway, because she had the big solo, but I was really glad to have felt well enough for it. The concert was held in a packed auditorium, and I had a little eye tightness, but I was surprised to find I handled the fragrances quite well. Abby was angelic, the star of the show, and the other two kids were good during the concert, so it was a success.

The next day (Wednesday) I woke up feeling under the weather, and unfortunately the migraine came back. I was able to hold off the full-blown migraine yesterday by lying around with my eyes closed all. day. long. ugh. Today I woke up with energy, but still can’t see. Keep your fingers crossed for tomorrow. I’m really bored and need to do some housework.

Peace out.

So this fragrance sensitivity I have, it is the real deal. As you may remember, I took out most everything in my house that contained fragrance and saw an immediate improvement. Over the past couple of weeks I have had much less eye fatigue, no headache, little to no sinus pressure. I’ve had a stuffy nose, but it’s the regular variety. I’m getting to a point where I can live with it.

I was able to find a fragrance-free version of everything in the house, but some things are available only through the internet and cost quite a bit more, such as dishwashing soap, so I’m dragging my feet on those. We’re still using the old Soft Soap, and my husband still uses his Irish Spring (making the concession of keeping it under the cabinet when not in use, not sure that’s good enough), and I’m using my kid’s shampoo since the smell is not nearly as strong as mine.

Everything was peachy…Until I whipped out the carpet stain remover. You know the kind where you spray it on the stain and wait three minutes and blot? That stuff will tear you a new sinus cavity. I didn’t consider as I sprayed it on that even after I blotted, the stuff would still be sitting there, in my carpet, silently giving off noxious fumes. By the end of the day I had a migraine. My first headache in weeks.

The headache is only annoying this morning, but I’ve been sneezing and having trouble focusing already. I tried rinsing and blotting again, but it didn’t work. I guess I have to break out the big guns: the carpet shampooer. Of course I won’t be using shampoo, only rinsing. Just think, I used to make my whole house smell like that shit… *shudder*

No wonder I had migraines.

Well obviously I didn’t go to Conestoga. There really was no possible way to do it on such short notice, so…that’s that. Maybe next year.

I appreciate all the encouragement given on my neurotic post. Sometimes you just have to step back and take stock, and that’s what I did. Looking at reasons I have trouble writing, without blaming anyone, helps clarify things, and, for some stupid reason, declaring anything to the world brings answers more quickly and decisively.

So after posting I had a revelation. If you’ve been reading long, you know I have chronic sinus and eye problems, manifesting as inability to see and concentrate, developing into headaches. Doctors haven’t been able to tell me why, and medicine doesn’t help. I may have found the cause, though I don’t want to get too excited about it, in case it turns out not to be so.

It could be (at least partly, and I am in no way getting excited)…

*drumroll*

…a fragrance sensitivity.

After I figured out that my deoderant was the cause of that pinchy feeling between my eyes, I did some research of the Google variety and came across a list of symptoms associated with a fragrance sensitivity: blurry vision, brain fog, chronic sinus problems, migraine headaches, even asthma-like symptoms. The list could have been written by me.

So what could I do, except rid my home of fragrance, just to see what happened? People, that’s a lot of stuff. Seven or eight plastic grocery bags. Perfume gives me a headache, I’ve avoided it for years, but I never thought about all the fragrances sitting around my house: scented candles, shampoo, kitchen cleaner, lotion, deoderant, virtually EVERYTHING has fragrance added. You might be surprised to know, as I was, that even products labeled “unscented” probably have a masking fragrance. All of those things went out to the shed for a trial period.

The change was instant. My vision cleared to a certain point, concentration improved. That pinchy feeling between my eyes left, but returns whenever I come in contact with a fragranced product.

The resulting quest for unscented products took me to Walgreen’s and Wal-Mart, where the headache came on from just standing on the lotion aisle for several minutes. No wonder I always feel terrible while shopping.

I’ve had to compromise on some products, because it is just damn hard to find truly fragrance-free products in the stores. There was one body wash, one bar of soap, one anti-perspirant, a couple of lotions, and forget about shampoo. And don’t forget that fragrance-free products cost way more than all the stuff I’ve been using. Since I’ll have to order the shampoo off the internet, I’ve taken the shampoo out of the shower and put it in a plastic bag under the sink. When I open the bag, the smell hits me in the face. It’s incredible how the constant barrage of chemicals becomes mere background noise.

I’ll probably start making my own soap so I can control the ingredients, and maybe lots of other things. Stay tuned for more developments.