A fatherless daughter’s self-examination

34 Responses to “A fatherless daughter’s self-examination”

Cheryl, on November 27th, 2006 at 8:59 am Said:

I was left pretty much to my own devices at age 11. My parents split; Dad moved far away and I rarely saw him or spoke to him, and my mother got real busy going out and partying. I think if things had been different, I would have a PhD by now, but I didn’t make the best decisions on filling up my time. At age 20, I dumped my long-time boyfriend and ran off with a much older biker dude. It was fun, for sure, and quite an education, and when we broke up I married the first guy I saw (not the current hubby), and I got a whole other education. I was very naieve, and I truly thought that all people were good at the core. So not true.

I heard once that you never realize how bad your childhood was until you have children of your own, and I agree. I’ve become very angry at my mother because of the things she let me do, either overtly or through neglect. There’s a very clear line in my life where my direction changed, and I’m only just now coming back around to be the person I authentically am.

And oddly enough, I’m now much closer to my Dad than I am to my Mom. I think if girls can survive adolescence and young adulthood, they’ll eventually come back around to a place of strength. It doesn’t have to be a life sentence.

*confession over*
Sherri, on November 27th, 2006 at 9:56 am Said:

I’ve been trying to reconnect with my dad, who never made the first move anytime during our separation (almost 30 years now). My reasoning for this attempt was that if I went to him in love and forgiveness he would eventually want to be my father. I wanted to find out about his life, his beliefs, his interests, and I wanted to tell him about mine. He wrote me back a couple of times (he lives in AR with Grandma), but after 3 unanswered letters I just couldn’t do it anymore. It became heartbreakingly apparent that he’s not willing to look honestly at his failings, which would be a necessary step in making amends with me.

I just have this feeling that his acceptance and attention would take me a long way on my journey to wholeness, even at this age.
S William Shaw, on November 27th, 2006 at 11:33 am Said:

I was in a parentless home. Parents divorced at 7. Mother working, never saw her. I was forced to be an adult as a child and learn the world myself. As an adult, I then became a child and drank, drugged and wanted to die.

I wouldn’t say having a messed up dad is better than no dad…because each situation is different, but having no dad handicapped me.
Elaine, on November 27th, 2006 at 11:52 am Said:

One statistic that I would like to see, but is probably not available, is how many fatherless or bad fathered children there are in the US. I’m glad that you, Sherri, haven’t made the mistakes this fatherless daughter made. There are several statistics in your blog that you seem to have dodged.
Benticore, on November 27th, 2006 at 2:10 pm Said:

My mother and my father separated when I was 4. I stayed with my father, who wound up being both my mother and my father for a long time, but he so neglected his own interests and hobbies to take care of me and provide for me that, in the end, he got burned out and married a harpy of a woman when I was 13 that left both of us scarred and angry.

I never really had a real relationship with my mothe and am just not getting to know her, but there is this huge gap between us that I’m not sure I know how to fill. Just silence and space. I can imagine what noit having a father could do to a child, but are there any studies about being raised pretty much without a mother?

Neither my mother nor my father came to my wedding last year and I offered to pay for both of their tickets. I found out (a couple of months ago) that my mother was in the throes of her alchohol addiction and my father was in the throes of his depression. I’ve tried my best to forgive them both, but I’m can’t forget it yet.

One thing I did notice is that I tended to, through my formative horny teen years, is that I seemed to collect a lot of Motherly figures in the forms of friends and girlfriends moms. None of them were really like my mother. But then again, my mother was never really like my mother, if you understand… Sigh…

I’m glad you came to place where you can move forward Sherri and I hope you are able to leave your children in a better place than where you were left. In the end, thats pretty much all you can try to do. Everything else is extra.

Benticore
Out
audreytheredheadedtornado, on November 27th, 2006 at 6:28 pm Said:

As a fatherless daughter I lived hard when I was younger. I went through the “older guy” substitute father phase. Yes, they were all perverts. I even dated a guy who was 43 when I was 17. As it turned out, he even knew my father- they were in the army together. I was still in high school.

I lost my virginity when I was 13. I did not even know his real name. Honestly, it took maybe 4 seconds and I was so stupid I did not even realize what was going on.

At the bus stop, when I was in the 9th grade, I used to drink vodka from a red Dixie cup provided by a high school drop-out that I dated briefly. He ended up going to prison for child molestation.

And these are just a few things I have done.

I have gone through many years of feeling like a cheap whore because of my past. Feeling like I deserved to be mistreated because I was nothing but trash.

Today, I don`t drink or use any illegal drugs. I don`t date. The only males I can stand are gay and I am as lonley as I have ever been. However, I do know I am a worthy person. I also have a “no-sh*t-policy” when it comes to relationships. I am strong and I will suvive. If I had had a good father I might be a winner not just a suvivor though.

I think that my life and my future are better than that of my 3 cousins who had a “father”. They were raised by drug and alcohol abusers. Give me what I had over what my cousins had any `ol day.

In the end, I wish I could have had a good father. But, If I had to choose between a bad one and none, I would choose none. Either way, you are trying to fill a hole. At least without a father the b.s. is kept to a minimum and you don`t grow up watching your mother take a bunch of crap. That right there can wreck a young girls self-esteem and teach them to expect that sort of treatment.
ThroughTheWire, on December 17th, 2006 at 2:35 am Said:

I must say that I was moved by your blog… and NO you are not alone. Personally, like many of your readers, I too am ‘fatherless.’ I honestly have beat more than half of those statisitics, I was forunate enough to truly have a suportative mother, however since I have no Dad, I associate love/relationships with pain. In order to prevent being promosicous or ‘look -for dad- through -a-male”, I push away any male who attempts to get close to me. As I grow (currently a college student), I realize that this is unhealthy.So finally I have got the courage to stop this madness, to recognize this pain and to attempt to cure this as much as I can. I heard that in the bible it says that God is a father for the fatherless who would ‘father’ them even more than the others with a father. I believe this is true, but at the same time I know he does not encourage ‘fatherlessness’. This a cycle that should be broken and not continue for as the stats show, it effects many of the social problems that happend today. Right now I am reading; WHATEVER HAPPEND TO DADDY’S GIRL: THE IMPACT OF FATHERLESSNESS ON BLACK WOMEN by: Jonetta Rose Barras. I also recommend BRIDGES by the same author. God Bless you girls (and boys) who maybe reading this blog and my comment in the midst of silent tears caused by the pain.
Sherri, on December 17th, 2006 at 7:16 pm Said:

I’ve gotten a lot of traffic from this topic. I only hope that those who read and don’t comment are getting some sort of healing here.

As a 36-year-old woman, I went through most of my life trying to be tough. You know, “he left but I don’t need him anyway.” Which led to “I don’t need anybody.”

What finally led to true healing was allowing myself to admit that I did need him. That was it. Just the admission that I missed having a father healed me. I’ll always be sad, but I don’t have to stand alone. This uncharacteristic confession on this fluffy blog showed me that.

Thanks for visiting.
Jade, on February 5th, 2007 at 10:03 am Said:

My dad died when I was 11 years old. It was a difficult time, yes, but he wasn’t the ideal dad. He drank a lot, smoked a lot and never seemed willing to stop any of these things for his children. I think he loved me and my sister but not enough. I went through a period of obsessively caring for him when I was 10 and 11 years old, when my sister and mum seemed to have given up. I think that has subsequently contributed to my empty feeling I have carried through to adulthood. I always have this void that needs to be filled. I feel lonely when I don’t have anyone who I feel, needs me to look after them. But on the other hand, I suffer bouts of depression at the injustices in the world. I think it’s helped me be the person I am today but it’s not all due to not having a father. In terms of achievement, I have just been accepted to Cambridge University to study English, so I don’t think it’s affected my academic achievement to a great extent.
Ashley, on February 28th, 2007 at 11:03 pm Said:

I too was raised without a father. But as I was growing up I didnt realize how if it affected me. I am blessed to say that I have a really supported mothe who never remarried after my father. Not having a father didnt affected my education and I dont have any children, but I cant have a relationship with a man. I reject men all the time because I fear commitment. But I will not let not having a father ruin my future. Yes it is harder for me but Im still fighting to succeed. My father lost out and he has to deal with that. My mom is my rock and I dont know what I would do with out her. I rather have no father at all, than an abusive one. I would have liked having a father around but I didnt. Im not going to use that as a crutch. I have some relationship issues that I need to deal with, but Im glad because my problem could have been worse than that. I give all my support to all the fatherless children out there. Just keep your head up and one day you will find true happiness. =)
Susan, on March 18th, 2007 at 10:27 am Said:

Thank you for posting this topic. I had no idea so many women were experiencing the same feelings I was; and it is a comfort to learn that others are courageously facing these issues head on. It is the only way to heal.
My father was physically present in our home, but was emotionally absent. He was there for my brothers but not for me. I don’t ever remember being hugged or told ‘I love you.’ That’s what hurts. My father went to all of my brother’s baseball games as my brother was growing up, but never to my softball games. I felt extremely hurt and abandoned and until now never realized that this is why I have a hard time getting close to men–I feel like they’ll just leave and that they really don’t care.
Sherri, on March 18th, 2007 at 11:24 am Said:

Susan, I feel the same way, even after ten years of marriage (my first). If you could see number of hits my measly little blog gets on this post alone, months after the original posting, you’d probably cry. Or maybe you’d rejoice that all these people are on their way to healing. Perhaps because of our experiences, our children will grow up knowing they’re loved, if nothing else.

Good luck to you.
heidi, on March 22nd, 2007 at 4:28 pm Said:

After a year of searching i gave up the search for my biological father (though i don’t like to call him that). In my entire life he say me once, and everytime i think i’m close to finding him and don’t, its like its happening all over again. My mother was emotionally distant, and to be honest, a little crazy and as a result i have developed an exteme anger towards everyone around me. I have been in a long term relationship for close to six years and have two children, but i am constantly agonizing over the possibility of losing them. when i fight with my boyfriend (can’t stand the thought of commiting to marriage) i act like a small child. Only this week, when i talked about it in our couples counciling, did i realize how much of an impact this has had on me. I’ve never been able to express my hatred, my anger, my feelings of worthlessness, intense sadness, and deep depression. i was planning to kill myself when i was eleven and my mother never noticed. luckily a concerned friend consulted the guidance counselor whom i somehow persuaded not to tell my mother. my step father adopted me when i was 8 but he never fully took on the roll of father, even though he never abused us and provided the financial support that we desperately needed. i know that i have brothers and sisters out there, but its just not worth the agony i feel over HIM. i burned the four pictures i had of him last week and it felt very freeing. i’m never going to locate him and if i do nothing good will come of the situation. my therapist told me that because my mother was not emotionaly available to me when i was having these traumatic feelings i’m stunted and to overcome this i, as a woman of almost 30, have to be a mother to my inner child. it sounds like a lot of psycho-babble to me, but at the same time it rings true. i have to let myself feel what i’ve been putting off for 30 years. its scary, but i’ve been able to come to a forgiveness with my mother and our relationship has grown and we understand each other. hopefully i can do the same thing with my absentee father and put this anger behind me. thank you for bringing up this topic, I never truly realized i wasn’t alone in this.
Sherri, on March 22nd, 2007 at 4:38 pm Said:

Heidi, thank you for leaving a comment. I think fatherless children always feel alone, no matter how many people they have around them, and for that reason I’m overjoyed that you chose to share your story with us. There is healing to be had, and though it’s different for each child, I think everyone has to start by realizing they CAN heal. And that comes from hearing others’ stories.

I hope that one of the links I provided will lead to your healing, for your sake and for your children’s. And if you come across a good resource, please do send me a link!

Good luck to you,
Sherri
heidi, on March 24th, 2007 at 7:04 am Said:

Thanks Sherri. I’ve started my own blog (just on myspace though) to help try and get over this. Let me know if you want the url. Thanks for bringing up the topic, it really helps to hear other people with the same issues. This whole time I thought I was hopelessly alone on this issue.
Fatherless daughter, part 2 « Sherri Blossoms, on September 9th, 2007 at 9:51 pm Said:

[...] daughter, part 2 From the comments I received on Part 1, I see I’m not [...]
Rachel, on November 13th, 2007 at 5:39 pm Said:

does this pain ever go away??? i feel so alone all the time…. to make everything better, i am also bipolar, so i can cycle (happy-sad-angry) in less than a second… what can i do to make myself happier?
Margenta, on December 5th, 2007 at 5:15 pm Said:

It was very refreshing to see that there are alot of women who suffer with the same Problems that I am. my story differs a bit from the ones ive read.I have never known my Father, my mothere told me me that one man was my father Knowingly that he wasnt and we had a blood test done when i was five and of course he wasnt.My mothere tells me that it could be one of three men she has no idea how to find them Im twenty six years old now and i cannot seenm to out grow not having a father a family friend says that he believes he could be my father, But my mother says they never had sex! But he never forgets my birthday and he calls me his daughter.My mother says shes all the family that i need what makes it so bad is that my mother was adopted by an elderly couple when they died I guess the rest of the family did too? My mother has found her biological family but wont deal with them,I have a little brother who is twenty now. I also have as six year old son.Thats all the family i know the bad part is that my mother is very kniving and uses that to minipulate me all my life like if i have a life with anyone else im trading on my family and I believe that it has effected me severly ive done hard drugs and alot of toher things Im ashamed of Im squaring my life up now but its hard i dont know whwere to go cause i dont know where i come from. Just need a little advise to stay strong
Sherri, on December 6th, 2007 at 10:04 pm Said:

Margenta, thanks for coming by and leaving your story. Maybe someone will read it, and know exactly what to say to help you through. In the meantime, I’d be glad to talk to you about it. Sometimes we just need someone to listen. Email me if you need someone to talk to.

Sincerely,
Sherri
Kara, on December 9th, 2007 at 2:54 am Said:

My situation is so different from so many listed on this blog, I have known my Father all of my life. There are 3 of us girls that he has with my Mother, my older sister is 5 years my senior and my little sister is 11 years my junior. My Father, after Fathering myself and my older sister decided that my Mother wasn’t worthy of marriage and married another woman (whom he met at a get together my Mother had at her house) and had another daughter 11 months younger than me.

After his marriage my Mother (because she loved him foolishly and blindly) continued on with an affair with my Father until he and his wife divorced. After his divorce, I guess my Mom was the one because we moved out of state (I guess to start a new life) with him when I was about 9-10 years old. After that failed, for some reason he was not as eager to provide for us as he did for his daughter with the ex. Ohh, I forgot to mention that his wife also had a daughter when they married that he took care of and provided wonderfully for.

The thing is my Dad has always been around, he and my Mother are even married and have been together for the last 18 years. But he has never treated any of her children with him like he loves us. You have no idea how heartbreaking it is to watch you Father be amazing to one of his children, treat her like a total Princess (daughter with ex) and treat the rest of us as if we are peasants in her kingdom. Although we are only 11 months apart, I watched my Father love her all my life. He paid her tuition all through college, paid for her apartment, gave her money (at least $700 a month) to live from for at least 3 years of college, bought cars, elaborate x-mas gifts (diamond rings, while the 3 of us didn’t even receive a card, just the gifts Mom bought and put his name on) and his reason he told my little sister he loves her more is because she doesn’t have a Mom (her Mom was shot ans killed by a boyfriend when I was 11). But what about us, we don’t get another Dad. This has left me with complete feelings of inadequency, unworthiness, and every other effect possible.

I lost my virginity at the age of 13, had three abortions by the time I was 15 and still have a problem picking descent men. I seem to always feel like I am not worthy of the good men and always pick the ones that I must fix up. I have been in physically, emotionally, mentally and psychologically abusing relationships and stayed because I always believed that there must have been something that I was doing wrong in order to be treated that way.

My sister (not my Mom’s) has a Master’s Degree and a good husband that provides and loves her very much. I am now just realizing at the age of 32 that I don’t pick good men because he has never shown me what a good man is. This last year has been really hard, I thought I had forgiven him and before then never realized i needed him I had that “I don’t need him attitude.” But I did and I am so angry at him it is almost hate, and I don’t know how to make it go away becaue till this day the situation is still the same. Now our children can see the difference in which he treats them compared to my sister’s daughter (his daughter with ex). And this only adds salt to injury. I am trying to fix myself, decided to take me & my children to counseling, because I have caused them hurt due to my hurt that I don’t want them carrying around until they are 30. Thanks for listening, needed someone neutral to hear me. I am not glad to see that there are so many others like me, this is a pain that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
zariah, on December 22nd, 2007 at 11:24 am Said:

How do I know that the ways I choose to act out are because of my dad, though, and not because I just want some attention or I think it’s fun?? I don’t want to blame it all on him. It’s not like he’s mean to me you know. And, it’s not like I never get to see him. I wish he would put in some effort and invite me over for once, but I’ve accepted that’s not going to happen.
Sherri, on December 22nd, 2007 at 11:37 pm Said:

Zariah, I think all you can do is be aware of the pitfalls and show yourself the affection you wish your father would show you. You’re worth it, even if you doubt that sometimes. I love you.
Sherri, on December 22nd, 2007 at 11:43 pm Said:

Kara, I also had the “I don’t need him” attitude. I didn’t realize how it was eating away at me. I deadened that spot, and the dead spot got bigger and bigger. I started to admit that I did need him, and it hurt, but at least I’m alive again. That dead spot hurts again, but it is a small part of me.

I’m glad you’re working through it, and I wish you all the best.
Ruby, on February 29th, 2008 at 4:03 am Said:

My parent’s divorced when I was 11 and dad remarried soon after. The woman was very insecure, and jealous of us kids, so we hardly saw him, and then he dissapeared from my life when I was 14. His new wife’s kids lived with him and enjoyed a luxurious existence, while we lived in poverty. He never bothered to get in touch with me. Fifteen years later, I got in touch with him and we meet monthly. I met him today and my heart is aching because he doesn’t know me at all, and yet he thinks he has learnt everything about me in the space of a year! He missed out on so much of my development, and is a very selfish and self-absorbed person. Today I took a massive step and asked him for advice, and while my mum would have known exactly what to say, his advice wasn’t useful at all. He also resented that I wasn’t my usual upbeat, perky, fluffy self - I knew in my heart that I am essentially there to ‘entertain’ him and not go too deep, but I feel pretty worthless. In my heart I hate men, and have massive problems even meeting a man I would want to be in a relationship with. How the hell anyone can justify stepping out of their child’s life for fifteen years is beyond me. I can’t fathom it, or his reasons. I hate hearing about my step mum and step brother and sister, I resent that he dedicated his life and finances to them. There is still a jealous child in me that wants her father, and on the days I see him I feel like an 11 year old. I even had a small tantrum at work at a guy who was trying to control me, which was total projection, and completely out of character. I was suicidal as a teen, because I felt completely unloved. Mum did an amazing job of bringing us up, and loved us lots, but I didn’t know what I’d done to make dad not like me anymore. I still carry a lot of rate, and it’s been good to read that forgiveness is the way forward. I’m trying to forgive, because one day I want to have kids and I want them to know my dad, but our values, morals, interests and experiences are so different it’s like we’re from completely different families. Oh wait - we are Good luck everyone, I hope you find the peace you’re looking for.
C.L., on March 15th, 2008 at 9:35 pm Said:

Being born “out-of-wedlock” destroyed my life. My father never cared about me. He took off when I was 2 or 3; I have zero memories of him. My mother turned into a Jesus freak when I was in elementary school and never stopped talking about what an awful sin she made. I am 34, never been married, and have no idea whatsoever on how to get a man. All of my maternal uncles were drunks; while other kids dated and went to prom, I spent my teen years fighting off drunk uncles that were trying to rape me. I hate my father, I hate my mother, and I hope they both burn in hell for having ruined my life. I can never marrry because I have no father to walk me down the aisle; I will never have kids because I am not going to bring any unwanted children into the world like my mom did; I will never be anything because I’ve never been Daddy’s little girl. And I have my selfish, spoilt immature “parents” to thank for it.
Sherri Cornelius, on March 16th, 2008 at 9:14 am Said:

C.L.: You say you won’t bring unwanted children into the world like your mom did. But are you like your mom? What if you want them?

The first thing you have to do to get past those bad experiences you list is to realize they ARE past. What you do with your life right now is up to you. Yes, you are dealing with the aftermath of those experiences. They’ve shaped you into this adult. But what you do from this point is entirely up to you.

It takes time to believe this. It takes caring about yourself. It’s hard. But you can get past this. Start by realizing you’re worth the trouble, if only because you are human. You’re worth it.
Audra, on April 12th, 2008 at 1:54 am Said:

I am 18 and have never known my father, but I feel that my mom loves me so much that she makes up for it. I have always been happy with just her. She would do anything for me, and I know it.
Of course, it is hard for me to know what I am missing; I’m sure if I knew my dad, I would love him very much and vice versa (I know a bit about him and the circumstances which led to him not claiming me). Maybe I would have had an easier time learning social skills as I grew up. It has also added stress to my life knowing that I am the only one my mother has to lean on. She has many social issues and perhaps mild depression; I think she feels like a failure sometimes and wonders why she doesn’t have friends. This has always been very hard for me to hear her say, and I wish she had someone in her life who loved her for her, vs. my distant relationship with her that is fueled only by unconditional love.
But besides being a bit unmotivated in school, I don’t fit the stats about ‘fatherless’ children. I am smart, unabused, and happy; and I am no more involved in drugs/alcohol than the average teenager. And I am definitely not about to be a murderer or a rapist, I’m thinking.
In short, I wish I had a father (I love the father character from ‘Juno,’ stereotypical as it may be) but I also do not believe it has affected me in a terribly negative way. I believe a person’s reaction to not having a dad is greatly influenced by the other people they are surrounded by and by their environment (neighborhood, etc). I love my mom so much, even when I can’t find it in me to tell her that.
Tim, on April 14th, 2008 at 11:04 am Said:

I’m struck by the revelation that AudreyTheRedHeadedTornado came to in recognizing that she’s somebody of value, and not a thing to be dismissed or discarded. It reminded me of some of the ridiculous things people said about the woman that Elliot Spitzer was involved with, and how she was obviously a “piece of internet trash.” Somewhere along the way, we (as a society) seem to have determined that people who make moral choices we don’t agree with are to be dehumanized in any way possible.

Years ago, my father (a former minister) was talking with me about the scene in the Bible where Jesus confronts the men who are about to stone a woman caught in adultery. He writes something in the dirt, they read it, and then they all walk away. Dad asked me, “What do you think Jesus wrote in the dirt?”

I confessed that I had no idea, but suspected that Dad had done some ridiculously deep research into the matter. Instead, he responded, “I wonder if maybe he wrote the name of the woman’s father, to remind them that this woman was someone’s daughter… someone’s child.”

One of my best friends was assaulted at 3, again as a teenager, and again as an adult. I was fortunate enough to have a front-row seat in watching her heal. It was heart-wrenching and fabulous, all at the same time. For years, she had gone through life being told the lie that says “I’m not worth anything to anyone.” I hate the way such words destroy someone’s spirit.

Sherri, if nothing else, writing this seems to have provided a connecting point with many people. In and of itself, it won’t provide healing, but perhaps it provides that first glimmer of hope that says, “I’m worth something, even if none of the people in my life were smart enough to realize it.” Both the original article and your follow-up comments demonstrate this, and are humbling to read.

As I said the other day, this is powerful stuff. - Tim
Sherri Cornelius, on April 15th, 2008 at 7:44 am Said:

Thank you very much, Tim. It IS a powerful topic. I think the response shows how few resources there are for people dealing with abandonment issues.

I hope that my visitors leave with a glimmer of hope, but I can say something for sure: Each one has left a glimmer, even if she doesn’t realize it, and for that I am grateful.

I think it might be time for an update post on this fatherless issue.
Sherri Cornelius, on April 15th, 2008 at 9:16 am Said:

Audra, somehow I missed your comment. As Tim said (two comments up), your story will provide a glimmer of hope for others who may not know what you’ve learned.

Thank you for visiting and telling your story, and congratulations on your happy life.
flower, on May 12th, 2008 at 9:39 pm Said:

so what’s worse on daughters abusive or absent fathers?
Sherri Cornelius, on May 13th, 2008 at 7:48 am Said:

Really, Flower, I think it depends on the individuals involved. But I never had an abusive dad, so I’m not basing that thought on personal experience. If you’d like to tell your story here, another reader may give you a better answer.
gloria, on June 23rd, 2008 at 5:07 pm Said:

thank you all for your comments, i constantly fight with my boyfriend who i have been with for 3 years. i try to catch him doing things with other girls and really do have a problem with trust. i feel like no matter what i do i will end up alone like my mother and with a cheat of a husband that will leave me for another woman as my father did to my mother. when will i ever have peace in my heart?
Jennifer, on June 24th, 2008 at 12:43 pm Said:

I am a single mother of 3 children. 2 Daughters ages 11 and 7, and son that is 10. I left their abusive father when they were 4,2, and 6 weeks. I am now beginning to have issues with my 11 year old daughter having boys text message her, and her saying to other girls how sexy he is, etc. I worry that since there has been no “father figure” in her life, that this is only going to get worse. She seems to “grab hold” of any man that is in my life, or any boy that seems to show any interest in her. Not to mention a friend that is not a good influence has brought her attention to boys in general (SHE WILL NO LONGER BE SEEING THIS FRIEND). I worry about her future, and am scared that since I am the “bad guy” that she will pull away from me. Her father has not been in her life at all and I have been put with the stresses of raising 3 kids alone. I am sure this has an impact on her. I feel guilty.

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34 Responses to “A fatherless daughter’s self-examination”

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